Day: October 13, 2019

Getting an early start 100 days into the 4th iteration. 100 days into the year I am filled with a number of interesting thoughts. Perhaps enough to shove into ten minutes. Perhaps more. So, here are…

Some Thoughts:

1. There is a real sense of irony in the fact that the people to scream ‘Witch Hunt!’ are likely the people who, had they lived in those times, been responsible for naming and hunting witches. To further the irony, the term has become synonymous with vilifying a person for something they have not done. That is, of course, accurate, but to see it used in this fashion now is both satisfying and silly.
2. Used to be that people laughed at stereotypes–especially in this country. We would see what folks expected us to be and entirely subvert said stereotype. Nowadays we are more likely to embrace the stereotype and use it as a rallying point. The stereotype hath become the symbol. Everyone appears to want to be a version of the symbol.
3. Heart condition has me thinking about how I manage my stress, but it also has me thinking about how I manage my time. I feel like I should continue letting my kids play sports and coaching at least the little one, in spite of the time it costs me for many months. On the other hand, I have been making this a year round thing with the coaching and the football. I am ready to pull back. No spring ball is needed. Between the rest of the stuff they do it might be time for these boys to turn inward and focus on more mental pursuits and other things that don’t yank me around the state.
4. I also think that part of that balance has a lot to do with travel. I need to do more of it. I need to find a way to get time to leave–just me and the lady–where I can enjoy time with her and find a little time for myself and the words.
5. Morning football as I blog. Games from London are practically a weekly thing now. They built a stadium there and everything. There is something to be learned from that kind of American expansionism.
6. That’s all I have time for. Yet there is always so much more to say…

I’ve been struggling to find the perfect mix of lecture and workshopping to settle up week three of my ASU writer’s workshop. After some time to think I realized that I did know what I wanted to do–I just needed a moment to let it simmer and me to realize that I had the answer within. Knowing that reminded me of another critical fact: Given the time to think through a problem, I usually come across some pretty good ideas and solutions.

No, this is not a ‘hold my beer‘ situation. Truthfully, given the time to really pause and think I believe I can be at my best. Unfortunately, I rarely have that sort of time. For the last few years my life has been a series of careening mishaps and events blurring into an ever present trainwreck mitigated solely by being in a constant state of romantic love. Seriously, when you are in love you tend to let the rest of the nonsense just wash away. Of course even the love stuff had its train wreck moments (see 2.0 and 3.0 respectively).

Now I find myself in a state of mental and physical disrepair and, in the moments of surfacing clarity, I can recognize how far I need to go to get back to a place where I am functioning at my best. I also recognize who I can be when I am at that best, and I really really like that guy…

Even when he asks me to hold his beer.

But the truth is, what I need is time and space. What I need is routine and moments of quiet introspection. With more of this I shall rise again.

Some Thoughts:

1. Undeniably my stress levels have been high and have not decreased even a little since realizing I have stage 2 Hypertension (bordering on critical emergency levels). In truth, the stress levels have elevated and continue to climb. I need to get that stuff under control.