Day: April 14, 2021

Yep, another negative blog.

When I clicked on the website it showed a Sunday post and I froze. I don’t miss days. I do fail to hit publish on occasion. On more than one occasion, actually. That is a nasty habit that came partially as a result of the double click needed to publish and partially as me simply not having my stuff together. So, I decided today was a good day to talk about slipping. I’m definitely slipping. In some ways I handle my business but in others I just am not putting the mental reps in as needed. Heck, even now I am asking myself is it Monday or Tuesday?

Covid bears some responsibility. My days are no longer tethered to a work schedule. I don’t watch live TV and there’s no football, so Sunday is just the day my kids go back to their Mom–which is something I don’t want to remember vs. something I do. However, I can’t put too much of the blame on how the world shifted. I need to recognize how I shifted and how I’ve failed to be the best version of myself in this situation.

Yep, another negative blog, indeed.

So, now I need to reign in my focus on getting my act together. I need to do the scheduling I wrote about before. I need to put myself in a state of mind where I am loyal to my priorities. I need to get right mentally and physically while I still have the ability to do just that.

I’ve gotten to the point where I am practically out of distractions.

I tend to use video games as a way to escape the oft sad reality of my work life (and occasionally the rest of my life as well), but lately the games have not held the same oomph as in previous months, years, etc. It isn’t that I am getting too old but instead I feel as though the weight of what needs doing is just too much for me to push aside–even to the point where gaming to clear my head is less effective. So, I need a new mental palette cleanser.

Some Thoughts:

1. These blogs are getting shorter and shorter, which is clearly reflective of me not having a whole lot to say and typing slower and slower as a result. Already I’m down to the final four minutes of this thing and I’ve said next to nothing.
2. So, there is a good takeaway: Stress sheds the ability to be fast in production when needing to be fast is what often brings stress.
3. The key, I believe, is to find joy in the moments–even the really hard ones. To reflect and learn is to grow and continue down the path. The path is all there is. The moments line the path like trees offering a view.
4. My wonderful blended family had a few good moments this weekend and that brought me some joy.
5. I need to take more time to make more lists of joy and remember the view.
6. I’m trying to also find moments to teach my kids how to be better men. This should be the way but it has not been. I’ve lapsed hard in the pop department.