Day: March 28, 2022

I’ve been alive for 47 years. In all of that time I’ve only felt in control of my life for maybe ten years–non-consecutively. These momentary flashes of control serve as brief reminders that I have the ability to determine who I am and who I want to be. More often than not I feel as a passenger. Though I signed up for the ride I have little by way of controlling the route and ride to the destination. This is a mindset. This is a powerful prison of a mindset that I feel influences most of the people around me. The key is to remember that we are in control of how we feel about our lives and what we manifest in terms of intention and action in our own lives. This is regardless of what is happening around us.

When I talk about my kid who plays games and binges shows and from time to time skips work, I have spoken of a sense of jealousy that probably makes little sense on the surface. The reality is that he is aimless and there is a freedom in that. Yet that too is a mindset that he controls and the way I see it is a mindset that I control. The moment we compare our lives to the people we see around us is the moment we start to alter how we feel about our lives–be it for the positive or negative. The key is to ‘stay in your lane’ and look at what you are doing and lock in on what you want for yourself. The harder version is to do that with a partner–to establish the we and to sync up mindsets in a way that allows both of you to prosper mentally. I’ve yet to figure out how to sustain that.

Some Thoughts:

1. No matter what comes post death–it isn’t me. It isn’t this. It isn’t the existence I’ve had. Even in mind of reincarnation we become other. Our material spirit may exist, but our memories and actions form the foundation of who we are and can be and will be. Life is precious. Life is limited. Enjoy it in any way that you can.
2. That sounded darker than intended.

I just finished watching a show where, in real time, Will Smith smacked the crap out of Chris Rock for making a joke about his wife and then within the same show collected his first Oscar and was, apparently, instantly redeemed by the community. Let’s skip the debate over whether it was a punch or slap. Such conversations fail to put the spotlight on what an absolutely ridiculous and sad moment it was. Smith appeared to laugh at the joke before realizing his wife was upset by the comment. He then went up to Chris Rock and assaulted him. What changed? This has led to immediate thoughts that it was staged. I however think it was a genuine moment. I feel like Smith recognized the hurt in his wife’s eyes and knew that by at first laughing and then not doing anything he’d be in a serious situation in his own life He didn’t protect her. Later in his speech he harped on the idea of protection.

Here’s the thing: Jada Smith is going bald. She’s discussed it publicly. Does that make her off limits for comedy? I am not blaming her for the moment. I believe she played a part. I believe the relationship played a part. With that being said, Will committed the offense. On live TV. Then walked away with an Oscar. He’s gonna be alright. Somehow I think Rock loses in all of this. I don’t think that is right.