Day: January 5, 2023

What a crazy end to the league seasons. We decided to split the prize money evenly due to the tragedy that unfolded during the Monday night game. The league officially marked me as 1st place, but that can be adjusted if the game resumes and they decide to play their talent during the game. I’m guessing no. So, I’m that guy. My team name, There goes that man rings true finally. A victory in the second season in a keepers league bodes well for who I get to keep, and I have a fairly loaded RB room. The final determination comes down to Jacobs or McCaffery, and I’m glad to have plenty of time to decide. I am also glad and grateful to see Brock Purdy shine. He brings respect to the Iowa State moniker and definitely makes his High School proud. Honestly, I’d like to see him lead the Niner’s right into the NFC championship… vs. the Giants. That would be something, wouldn’t it?

In the meanwhile, I’ve spent some of my winnings on new sneakers and that has me thinking that it is time to get back in shape and back to a limited form of coaching up my kids for the next few months. I call it a bit of a cheat, because I need to get back in shape desperately, and this gives me another way to spend time with them while I do it.

Some Thoughts:

1. It is tough to feel good on a daily basis when you’re treated like a second class citizen.
2. First time in a while that I left this sitting on the publish now page and didn’t publish. Wack. I was really out of it yesterday. Not my best self. Again… see above.

I decided to turn all the way back to 2.28, and thoughts about parenting. The post centered on this idea of structure and discipline following a pointless argument about Minecraft. Mind you I was only three kids deep at this point. The other three were adjacent but not yet mine–though to hear it from my partner, I am responsible for the path they’ve taken till now. What I can say is true is that the issues I saw then have not gone away and have multiplied with the addition of kids and especially of older kids who don’t listen to or respect me. The issue, as I see it, is how one structures their life.

Structures are hugely important and determinant of ones path forward. If your day starts with an hour or more of useless YouTube videos, slides into an hour or more of video games, back to YouTube, back to games, break for meal, and repeat, then that is a structure. It is not one that is designed to move you towards anything more than what presently exists in your life, because there is no room for that. This is perhaps why I chafe at that specific structure that has been adopted by so many of my kids. I also work really hard to rationalize and forgive it, in order to find a way to accept it as Their Way. However, it is not, IMHO, The Way.

My way is in flux. I’m dealing with a lot, obviously, but I do feel that I need to adjust my structure to something more conducive to what my partner and I both want and feel is good for us. As opposed to good for me or good for her solely. There is a lot of emotion tied to this conversation, and it is one that is made easier on vacation, because vacations tend to narrow what one considers in terms of importance and limits interactions outside of our specific pairing. Home isn’t that. So, home isn’t great.

What I want is to find a way to be healthier and not need to worry about heart stuff all the time. I want to be able to occasionally splurge on a nice meal and not worry I’ll die as a result. I want to feel I can say how I feel about things without absolutely destroying everything around me. That last aside probably needs more explanation, but there isn’t time for that here.

Some Thoughts:

1. The on field incident in the game last night was a scary and sad. To see someone have a cardiac incident so publicly is a dark reminder of how we need to be monitoring ourselves constantly–no matter what shape we think we are in.