Day: February 20, 2025

It is extremely hard to dive into a narrative anymore. I used to do it with such ease as a kid. I used to do it the way kids on TV jump into the water. It tracks then that I slip into the water the same way I slip into any new piece of fiction–hesitantly with worry that the sudden change (from dry to wet, from not cold to dang cold) will overwhelm me; with fear. That fear is largest when I am worried about not knowing as much as I can about the project. It is the fear that holds me back from writing the Justice Engine as we speak and the same fear that has held the Torathae at bay for twenty seven years. Fear should not consume a person. A little bit is valid, but to let it become the driving factor in what and whether you create is silly. What am I afraid of? Not having the answers–the plot. Writing myself into a corner and not knowing how to get out. The story not being good or being too short or being too big for me to handle. I fear more things than make sense. So, I guess I fear moving forward at all.

How do you overcome that fear. To me the answer lies in those caution-laden steps at the start to ever pool descent. Either you go in as slowly as you feel you can, or you accept that fear, leave your feet, and let it happen. I am going to attempt the latter. Today we begin the novella. One hour. 500 words. That is all I can ask myself. Yeah, it sounds more like the creeping in than the jumping and maybe it is such to some people, but to actually set that timer and determine within yourself that this entire span of time belons to this one task is a leap. It is a leap of faith in yourself, your concentration, and your ability to follow through.

I’m doing it. Heck, at the rate I’m churning out data, I may get further than 500 today.

Some Thoughts:

1. I watched the clock turn to 10:50 before I started this. A clean ten minutes. There is something about the last ten of an hour that makes it feel like I am turning into a new moment or mode. It is a beautiful feeling to finish as the hour begins.
2. I need to update my author page badly. This page is public, after all. Someone may like what I say and actually want to bring me in as a writer!

I don’t have a ton of sports stuff to talk about. I’ve been trying to pull back from being so involved in the banter and the media of it all. Like anything else, sports is really centered around this idea of keeping you hooked full time. If I remain hooked full time then I find that I am less focused on the game and more focused on the narrative and the hype surrounding the game. Football is the worst for that. There is not a real break at all. Now its about who is going to the combine and who is getting hyped ahead of the draft. Who cares? Stop making mock drafts, because you don’t know anything. Most of these pundits are generating fulfilling predictions that they use their media cudgel to force on teams–as if a team didn’t draft as they predicted then THE TEAM made a mistake. Sure, teams make mistakes but it generally isn’t because they didn’t go with your guy and thereby damaged your pick reputation.

I had to stop listening to all of it–especially as a Giants fan. I don’t know what will fix the team. Honestly, it comes down to good coaching, flexibility on both sides and a schedule that allows for really beneficial matchups. That truth applies to High School and college as well, where I do have some skin in the game. I want to see these boys become greater success stories. It is going to take a lot for that to happen. It starts and ends with them, of course, but the stuff in between matters.

Some Thoughts:

1. That is more than 84 words… Meaning I can really put more than 500 in an hour even given some breaks in between, but 8.4 a minute average still feels safe. I ought to be able to do that on any given day–even the ones where I really don’t want to.