I’ve been off, Like big off. Like gained 8 lbs off. Perhaps more. I am easing towards 240 when I should be 200 at best and the extra weigh is wearing me down in ways I did not predict. Weight can be a mood modifier. I am more sullen and slower and often lethargic over the course of the day. I don’t want to work or work out or do much of anything concrete. Mental work is overwhelming. Physical work is much the same. I want to say ‘yet I endure’ but I actually don’t. The Lady Talis had to remind me of our anniversary tommorrow.
It’s like that.
I want it to be any other way. Yet here we are and I need to figure out a way to climb back out of this hole quickly. I am not the person who I’ve been over the past few weeks and, while everyone has bad moments, it is not right to linger in the space. I need to get right and get back to right being the way I always am.