Month: June 2026

I Think…

Walking is a really good start. I’ve logged 18 miles over the past two days. I keep getting more and more constitution buffs from the action, and that is the entire point. Heart health is the key to me living long enough to be very old. I want that. I want to experience that great grandkid life. I want to be here for it all and I want to be here for my wife.

I Think…

My step kids show me more attention than my birth kids. The birth ones do not seem remotely aware that I have a life and that life is good. They show no interest in what is going on with me. Perhaps it is their age but more likely it is their upbringing. Some mistakes were made on my part. Some mistakes by their birth mom as well. Overall, I want to have adult relationships with these men. Only two of three seem remotely interested in maintaining contact.

I Think…

I lost the little one entirely. He’s fallen into a period of his life where I am a low priority on his list. He loves me, of that I am certain. Yet he doesn’t really care about me or what I think. It has to be hard for him, being the youngest and being the one his brith mom is closest to. He has to get a lot of negativity about me from that quarter. I don’t think I’m a real part of his decision making process in terms of college or anything anymore. He only hits me up when he needs cash.

I Think…

I’m tired of not sleeping well. I don’t know what it is that triggers nights like this, but it screws me up mentally the entire next day. I wasn’t able to accomplish any sort of solid writing today. I wasted a day and I am running out of days to waste. I have two stories due next week and 3 more pieces that are long overdue. Not sure how to get myself out of this hole. Once I do, I am slowing down for a while. Gotta rediscover that voice and that love.

I Think…

Knicks are making basketball fun to watch again.

Some Thoughts:

1. Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “Wrestling matches provide an action-packed story time at US libraries, in photos” Lucha Libro? Well, if it works, it works.

This is a lost art. We have so many of those as we transition between generations. There are things my parents did and taught me that I felt were absolutely silly. Now my kids are having the same type of conversations. There is another type of conversation as well—the one where the simple stuff we did as kids becomes trendy; becomes tied to some sort of faith or fad or featured as part of a larger activity. Sitting with the silence is such a trend.

It used to be that being alone was just what happened. I didn’t grow up with all of the inputs that today’s youth are obsessed with. I didn’t have a cellphone. They largely did not exist, especially not at the level they exist now. These things we call everyday items were extremely rare and always purposed. So, instead of scrolling through the latest social media feed, I read books. When I didn’t do that I sat with the silence. I let my brain decompress and all of the ideas and energies of that day melded into something useful or they sloughed away. That practice is largely lost now. It is a practice as old as time and religion. It is the mainstay of some faiths. Buddhism does it, placing your focus on the breath. Christian faiths do it, holding moments of silence or vocalizing thought through quiet prayer.

Today we do in spaces. We meditate, be it through yoga or sauna, or even shower. We take less and less time to sit with the silence and when we do it tends to be an event of some sort. Yet it doesn’t need to be. It should be daily practice. It should be how we reset ourselves to the form and the function we hold dear. It should be the way we can look at ourselves and realize our inner potential.

Lately I’ve found more time to sit with the silence. It is easier where I am at then it is where I tend to stay. Perhaps it is easier because I am older, with more life behind me than in front, and I recognize the meaningfulness of that silence once again. Regardless of how I wound back towards this path, I am finding myself again. I am finding that spark of a man who once wanted to write stories the world would enjoy. I am finding that person who wanted to pour his love into a partner and make her life ambrosia. The path we are born to can be found through that silence. We just have to find our way back to it.

Some Thoughts:

1. Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “ Virginia man gets life in prison for double murder scheme in affair with Brazilian au pair“ Always with the babysitter.
2.  

Rain the horizon. Not today, but likely tomorrow. 80% chance by then, but the sleepys are here already. I didn’t even get up until sometime after nine. In true vacation form I didn’t do anything. I didn’t write until I started to blog a little bit ago, and it is nearly 4 pm. So, yeah. It’s a sleepy day and this, written between yawns, is a sleepy blog. Everyone deserves a day of not doing anything. I don’t have the juice to do much more than what I am doing right now. In general lately I shut down after 4 pm. I might slide through some grading or other non-creative endeavors, but do not ask me to write in the evenings. I’ve conditioned myself out of it if for no other reason than to spend more time with the Lady Talis. It’s the best part of my day.

Tomorrow it is coffee in the morning and we leave the house to do that. It means I have to get up and get moving, which is the opposite of how it is going today. I am not at all mad about the way the day has gone though. I expected to fall into a writing routine, but instead fell into the nap trap. I did get one of 4 drafts done yesterday, so there’s that. Time is running out and I keep running at the same old pace.

So be it. This is summer, after all.

Some Thoughts:

1. Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “Man Builds Autonomous AI-Powered Water Gun Turret to Keep Pigeons Away” Maybe less bonkers than absolutely bad ass. This is my AI hero of the week.
2. Oooh… AI hero of the week sounds like a new column. Let me give it some thought.
3. Beckham is back with the Giants but lacks a number and might not even make the team. He is a longshot right now. I hope he does make it, because when healthy and at the top of his game he is electric. I see him being useful in the slot this season as a possession guy. Still, as I said, he doesn’t even have a number. He’s wearing Carter’s #3 right now with Jalin Hyatt still rocking #13.

I heard that someone used ChatGPT to predict Iowa’s 2026 football season. So, I used that same method to determine how they would fair against UNI, and specifically how my kid would do. It fed me the following Stat line: 5 total tackles, 4 solo, 1 pass breakup, 0 interceptions, 0.5 tackle for loss. It considered this to be the median result. It stacks up to how he played against Colorado State last year when that team decided early on that they did not want to throw his way. Statistically, he found himself near the bottom of the FCS as a defender according to PFF. This, in spite of giving up 1 passing touchdown and less than 200 receiving yards on the season. So the question is: WHY?

He gave up short slants. It wasn’t for a lot of yards, and no RAC save for 1 reception, but it is what it is, and it is how they grade. So, what does that mean for this season? Not sure yet. He’s 19 now and far more physical and healthy. He’s ready for a big season. Let’s see what happens.

Some Thoughts:

1. Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “Videos showing groups of people entering NYC sewers at night baffle residents and investigators“
2. Do you realize how many times a week I misspell absolutely? Sometimes I butcher it so thoroughly that spellcheck asks if I am making a new word and want to add it to the dictionary.
3. And now, this: “Rare albino buffalo named after Donald Trump for its golden locks draws crowds at Bangladesh zoo” Spitting image. No photoshop.
4. 
   

Sounds odd, doesn’t it. Yep. I spent the day in a spa and then walking around with the Lady Talis. This is that taste of the good life that I’ve longed for. It makes me realize how great vacationing can be, but it also tells me what I want life to look like moving forward. I like teaching. I can work that in. I don’t like where I live. I mean to change that. It will take some doing. We are working towards a solution, and will put it in play as soon as our last graduates and we get that full freedom to move on.

I’m really looking forward to the chance to plant roots in a place I feel good in. Sure, where we are does have its moments. In a perfect world we would be part timers and move like birds across the seasons. I don’t know that we live in a perfect world–not so long as we need to work. In the meanwhile we still have our summers. This one in particular has been fantastic.

The blood pressure is lowering. The cardio is going up. The stress is coming off. I don’t have access to a scale, so I don’t know about the weight. I’m still fat, but I am feeling better in my own skin. Just gotta keep going.

Some Thoughts:

1. Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “Meteor as heavy as an elephant causes widespread speculation across New England” Imagine what a BIG one can do.
2. Not talking about politics doesn’t mean they aren’t happening (and sucking, of course). It does mean I won’t let it dominate my mindspace or wordspace.

As I write this the Rams are finalizing a trade for Miles Garret. That means, in no uncertain terms, the Giants have zero shot this year. They play the Rams, which we can add to the loss column, but they also play the Browns who did get Jared Verse out of the deal, and he’s a solid defender. So maybe they win that one, maybe the lose it still. The point is, there is a stacking of talent underway in the NFC West, and 3 of those teams could possibly make the playoffs. Rams, Seahawks, and Niners. If that happens it means there is one available wildcard and the Giants will need to overcome a loaded NFC North as well to make it. That or win the division, which is unlikely at this juncture. Better luck next year?

Each year I role out hope for the G-men, and each year they find a way to disappoint me more than I expected. I should give up, but I am a loyalist for some unknown reason. I keep going. They way I’ve kept going with the RPG writing in spite of not getting my long overdue paychecks for up to a year now. Well, at least I used to keep going. I am done with that gig once these projects are finished. I’m going to be the bigger person and not leave work undone.

Some Thoughts:

1. Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “Patients find help with therapy donkeys at psychiatric hospital near Paris” They do what now?
2. That was a wild segue into not writing RPG stuff, wasn’t it?