Family means so much to me. I really feel like it is important to raise my kids and move them forward and towards their own goals and destinies outside of the nest. This is, of course, why I am so frustrated by the two who aren’t likely to leave the coop before I do. I’m thinking about the next step. I’m thinking about what life looks like when I am not in Arizona and not teaching and not living this specific existence. I am working on changing that existence on a day to day basis and I plan to take even larger steps once the semester ends. I want to be a writer–more than I am right now. I want to do as I did this summer and languish in coffee shops creating fiction and writing wonderful tales. It is about learning and deciding what is important in your life.
So much of my life has been centered on football and kids. I tried to shape an identity around those things. I enjoyed being a coach and I was starting to develop a deeper understanding of the X and Y side of it when I stepped away. I’ve failed to translate this to anything else. I thought I ought to translate it to teaching but it never developed the way it should.
Some Thoughts:
- Stopping it short there, because I wanted to add a thought about tomorrow. It is Thanksgiving and I (might) be playing basketball for the first time in a year at least. I haven’t run in a year. I haven’t done anything strenuous to that level. It feels dangerous. Not trying to have a heart attack, but we will see what shakes out.