The greatest lesson I’ve learned as a father is that I need to teach my kids how to stand on their own two feet. I mean we do it all the time throughout their childhood, but at a point some of us stop. I’m a divorced man dealing with an ex-wife and a family of not-in-laws that doesn’t want to teach my young men how to be men but instead wants those men to need them and wants to coddle those men. As a result my work is harder and my relationship with my men suffers.
It is easier to be on the side of the person saying ‘i will do it for you’ than it is to stand with the person telling you to do it yourself. If it were up to my ex none of the boys would leave this state until she did and they would decide where to go together. She needs them to need her. Just like her sister defines them as her kids. This sister doesn’t have kids of her own, so her investment in mine is paramount. My boys know this, play into this; love this. I’m fine with it to a point. Everyone needs a good aunt to help out and show support.
I am not fine with boys being dependent on such things to the point where they are being taught not to see past that. I’m tired of living in such an existence, and I am done living in it as well. Change often needs to be forced because comfort doesn’t demand it.
It is long past time for people to feel uncomfortable.