I said sometime last year (or before) that if you do something long enough you become known for it. I have been an average to below average teacher for about four years now. I feel like the teaching version of A-Rod: getting a good paycheck and sucking. It is worse when I visit other teachers and watch how they explode into the classroom with such a wealth of knowledge and determination that I practically feel inadequate sharing space with them. I suppose the same applies to some of my writing. I recently finished working on an anthology with some top shelf authors and I feel like my writing, though decent, wasn’t the best in the book. It should’ve been. Everything we do as individuals should be better than the last thing we did, because once we peak it is only downhill from there.
Diagnosing the problem is tough, but I can look to a series of factors that I’ve gone over ad nauseum on this blog. Kids, Time (see kids), Motivation. Like the good Bob says, “Accept the things you cannot change and have the courage to change the things you can.” I’ve worked out a lot about time management through this blog, spending almost a year of writing dancing around that issue. Now motivation can be summed up more easily: You need to find it in yourself to want to make the effort to be the best and turn on that switch that says ‘One Step Further’. We all have the switch, though it is usually buried deep within that hoarders lair we call a mindscape. I can see it within me, sometimes just out of reach. The key is putting the effort into self efficacy so that you can navigate the crowded caverns of your own psyche to find and finally flip that dang switch.
I’m still working on it, I suppose. But I am getting closer.
Some Thoughts:
- I joined the modding culture of Xbox 360, albeit briefly. I wanted to create a mod guy that would allow me to level up other players, thus skipping the tough “learn to play and earn your stripes” grind that I should be teaching my kids, but am not. There is a balance of sorts there. I modded up to the point where the other characters I legitimately earned up are, so we have the opportunity to switch characters and I can play that fill-in role where needed. In other words, I am making poor excuses for being a cheater at video games.