This is going to be one of those stream of consciousness situations. It has to be that because I don’t have a single cohesive thing to say. This happens from time to time. It happens more when I burn my mental energy early in the day and wait until I’m laying in bed, head and shoulders propped up by a stack of pillows, laptop balanced on my lap. I get here when I’m trying to do too much and when I am not seeing the reward of what I’ve done.
Getting here is better than quitting here. Getting here means I am trying to reload and rebalance how I spend these hours as opposed to saying that I cannot do it all. I have to do it all. I have to carry a load because I want the things I want for myself and I want the things I want for the people in my life. It’s been this way for fifty years. It will be this way for as long as I have left.
That doesn’t mean I will always be overwhelmed. It means I will keep pushing myself to do good things and to create. Without creating I don’t know who I would be. I watch consumers every single day and I ask myself if they are creators as well. Most of them don’t seem to be. They lack the basic appreciation and patience for the act. I could be generalizing (and probably am) but I fear that more and more people prefer to offload creation to a device–be it an AI or other preformatted junk designed to present whatever customized reflection of empty ideas they’ve picked up by consuming other empty ideas. That’s what the internet is anymore.