I get why I struggle in Arizona.
I’m lost here. There is no real routine or community or locations to moor myself to outside of the home. It happens in seasons–Football/track. I am moored to the schedule, but that isn’t a life. I don’t know that I have enough daily routines year round to consider AZ a life. Some of that I can work on myself. I can spend an hour in the pool each day, for example, but to what end? This isn’t the beautiful beaches of Spain or the forest wandering trails of Victoria, BC. Nah, this is AZ where everything is static and the metronome of my life cycles between whether my kid is on the PS5 or watching the TV.
I want more. Here.
I need to be the person to figure out how to do that, because I am primarily now the one who is least happy with the existence. When the Lady Talis asks me what I want to do, I want to have a list prepared of options both in and out of town. Home or about town. Indoors or out. I want to feel a sense of belonging and routine that I don’t and I want to make it happen over the stretch of the summer to fall season.
Challenge accepted.