The sun is beating down pretty hard on me right now. I’m close enough to the shore that the waves are threatening me, but won’t have a chance t reach my toes for another few hours. I came to the beach late. It’s a full house here, with people spread all around. Sunbathers, hang outers, paddle boarders and the like are all having a grand time attempting to create a moment in their lives of relaxation and joy. I’m doing my version of that. I just wrote my vows and now I am writing this blog as a way to move into a different headspace. Won’t be long before the wedding—even less time before the kids show up and this private honeymoon becomes a family reunion. I’m a bit nervous about that part, because we have a lot of big personalities amongst the boys and a few who do not necessarily play nice with others when they are stressed or going through things. It could wear on the lady, and this is the time where no wear is going to be allowed by me or the other people who are dedicated to making this one of the greatest moments of her life.
She met me, of course, which probably wasn’t seen as the greatest moment at the time, but retrospect is a wonderful thing—seriously. Ask her in ten years…
Beyond that I find myself stressed about the upcoming year in general. I have money questions, vacation questions, bigger life questions about health and future goals/opportunities. I am hoping I reach a point in my writing life where I am doing some of this Shadowrun writing not as the primary vein of what I rite, but as more of side work s I am producing the kind of novels I’ve dreamed of creating. Heck, I wrote the plot to the sequel or companion book to the Justice Engine in my mind on the walk home from the grocer the other day. Of course, I haven’t written the primary text, so there’s that.
I need to get back to being a creative first. I don’t know when it was that the creative side of me took a back seat, but I don’t want that to be all there is—I want to get back to creating and consuming mostly really good and interesting stuff. The lack of doing so is wearing on my mind and my soul. I’m too old to let that wear and tear continue.