It is 4:53 by the clock on my computer. I have been awake for over three hours. I am a bit tired, coming off three hours of sleep, and I am a lot worried about the growing deterioration of my mind as a result of not getting good sleep in weeks. I can make a half dozen excuses about why the situation is as it is, but the one truth I return to is that I am not doing enough physically or mentally to settle myself by the end of the night. I’ve gone from walking 5+ miles a day to walking 5+ minutes a day and rarely leaving the house–even to empty the garbage. I’ve gone from two or more hours of morning writing to not doing any fiction at all and struggling to keep up with the blog. In truth, the only writing I seem to be accomplishing is prepping for this semester. Most of that is editorial in nature. I’m trying to shoehorn existing material into a form that works for my purposes. The more creative endeavors–the two classes I have on Wednesday that still need building–aren’t even getting done. I lack creative energy.
I need to move by body to get it back.
I need to find peace to get it back. Part of that is location, of course. Heck, most of it I believe to be locational. I do not do well here with the space and responsibilities and vibe. I’ve complained about the nature of this for days and yet I continue to spiral dangerously. So, what is to be done about this?
For now, I’m going to work in a few hours. I’ll see if being in front of students helps me get moving.