Ten minutes before I need to go get my Pei wei order. Enough time to get this out on the table…
I’m happy. I’m happy in my love and happy in my life with my wife. I am not so much right on the writing front or perhaps in the planning the future front, but I have love and I am happy with where my kids are in their lives and that makes me feel good. It also makes me feel incredibly greedy that I need more. I do. I don’t have all that I need to move into this next phase of life. The money is all wrong. Odd how so much of life feels like it can be solved by adding zeros to a paycheck. It would do that for me to be sure. Being able to be secure financially would change my ability to focus on writing and on this not so distant future. I could, finally, do all the things that I want to be able to do in life, and my wife could live her dreams.
She told me today that she thinks that love, for a woman, means getting the partner you want and giving up everything else in return. I’m paraphrasing here, but it isn’t a wrong statement. How many stories end with the man getting the girl and his life and the girl getting the man? Love shouldn’t come with such a lopsided price tag, but it feels as though it does.
All of this is to say I want to be able to afford to live the life that allows me to create. I just need to figure out how to make it happen…