Well, I got things done. I can sleep well tonight knowing that I did some of the things I needed to do. What’s going to keep me up (or wake me in the dead of night) is what did not get done and continues not to get done. The writing for one. I’m living at a negative in terms of getting through all of the stuff I want and need to do, and it has a lot to do with how I spend my hours. I ought to be grading right now, but I am not. I’m learning more and more about what is required at work, as well as the time needed to accomplish this and it creates a block of time needed. The more blocks that form, the more my life is squished into the margins.
What is that life, anyhow?
I am not sure. I suppose the writing and the research that goes around the writing alongside watching shows and doing projects would constitute a life. My life with the Lady Talis is an entirely separate matter, as one cannot have a life together composed of things that you do alone. I believe there is a set of things people do for self and that is a compartment of a larger life. In this matter I am talking about that compartment. It grows tiny as I find there is more and more to be done, and I have less and less energy to do such things that bring me joy.