One of the hardest aspects of being a father is letting go. I mean letting go of expectations and letting go of the belief that your kids are going to do for you as you’ve done for them. It isn’t real. It happens at times, but it is not a thing to expect or demand. This recently came up as my youngest is about to go to prom. Here’s some background: He’s the result of the first marriage and spends half the year with his birth mom. Now he wants to get ready for prom there as he always does with these type events. I told him it would me a lot if he got ready here with us. He said it made him feel guilty and I ultimately left it to him to decide.
I already know the decision. He’s not doing it here. So, as a dad I can force the issue or I can let it go. I’m going to choose the latter, because I don’t want to have something that is false. I don’t want to force someone to be somewhere they don’t want to be and make a thing what it is certainly not. It’s fine… in the sense of meme fine.
There are degrees of fine. This is the kind of fine that hurts and you don’t forget–the kind that helps you to reevaluate a relationship. I’m still the dad. I’m still the grown up. Yet now I have a clear sense of where things are at. That helps to put my mind at ease. Nice to know where you stand with people. Even if it is at the back of the line.
Some Thoughts:
- Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “Melania Trump holds extraordinary White House event to deny ties to Epstein, knowledge of his crimes” Well, that was… unprompted. Also, the word extraordinary is doing a lot of work there.
- Also this: “Justice Department is investigating the NFL for potential anticompetitive practices, AP source says” Spoiler: it is about who gets the broadcast games…