I woke up today very very early and my thoughts were churning. See, for me I cannot stand waiting on the precipice of disappointment. This week my son is supposed to be taking a college visit to Tulane. He just got back from Hawaii visiting their program. The Lady Talis and I were not invited. We have not been invited to any of these visits. In fact, as previously mentioned, the only visit I’ve taken with him is the one I paid to go on, which is Tulane. That is the only reason that any of those coaches know that I exist.
They know his mother exists. He’s helped shape the narrative that he is being raised by a single mom when the reality is starkly different. The reasons for this are legion. It would take more than the time I have to break them all down, but the summary is this: He’s been manipulated by a needy parent and he is feeding into a narrative that I don’t and have not done anything for him in his life.
Kids don’t see the long game. Kids don’t see what they have every day as something that is being provided to them. What they see is what they want in front of them. So the first time a parent says no, that sense of ‘what have you done for me?’ starts to creep in. Its worse if the other parent is amplifying that narrative by creating conditions of well, I won’t do X because your Dad won’t do Y. The entire construct is false, of course, but tell a kid to see it that way.
In fact, try to tell a kid anything and expect them to think through it rationally at 17. It isn’t going to happen until much later. Then the damage to the relationship is already done. The damage to our relationship shouldn’t last forever. I’m grown and I can wait this one out. Still, as the Tulane visit approaches, I do not expect we will be invited along. That potential dis already hurts. The full insult hasn’t happened yet. I’m waiting for it. I am expecting that he takes the wrong person on this father’s day weekend visit.
At least its close to happening now. Means it won’t keep me up at night anymore.
Some Thoughts:
- Absolutely Bonkers Headline of the Day: “The Comeback Knicks are the Champion Knicks. Brunson scores 45, and New York tops Spurs for title” 53 years it took to get here and the son of a Knick who played in the 1999 series lead the way. Scroll back through the posts. I never expected this to happen. Yet they did. They believed. I’ll tell you, belief goes a very long way. These guys were down by at least ten in every single game. They were down 27 in the 3rd one game. Down 16 this last game. They won. 4-1. Knicks in 5.
- To quote a now-internet-famous Knick fan, “My Mayor is Muslim, My Bagel’s still Jewish, the Pope is on our side, Knicks in 5!”