What kids don’t know can hurt them–especially when it comes to that special social dance between parent and child. They push our buttons and we discipline or we don’t, always sure to test the limits of our willingness and understanding. I’ve been thinking about what kids ought to realize about us parents and our understanding and our limits. Even the best of us have a button labeled one step too far. So here it is, my list of things kids ought to know from parents who ought to tell them:
- Screaming fits are not an acceptable form of negotiation. I don’t know why kids think it is. Does something flash through their brain pan whispering, “If you scream it they will let you do it…” If this is the case, that wayward ghost thought needs to be eradicated at the cellular level. I’ve never had to lift my child off the floor of a store, but I’ve seen it happen time and again. I always want to step in and tell the child a few things. Things in bold print, mostly.
- ‘I’m taking a little me time’ is parent code for I’m about to snap and go completely biblical on your ass, so I better step away. This goes down more often than you might think. I believe I went gray after the second kid. #2 meant rabid infighting. #3 meant all out war over the air they breathe. In all of this I a considered the referee–a job I don’t begrudge to anyone. Without stepping away, someone may day.
- ‘I won’t hate you if’, is not an acceptable form of emotional currency. In truth there is no acceptable form of emotional currency, but that rule doesn’t apply to the baby of the family. Ever.
- Bringing home weird boyfriends doesn’t make me trust you more. I’ve been on the other side of shock value. In Iowa, bringing home a black boyfriend is an elementary fuck you to parents.
There are more rules. Rules for bedtime is a good one to talk about. I’ll save it for a later post.