Yesterday I was laying on the couch and one of my three decided he needed to fold his entire body into the space between me and the couch cushion. He exerted his will, I relented and allowed him to settle into the crook of my elbow where he promptly fell asleep. It was that moment I realized that I’m finally a father first. I used to be about work. Back in the teen years I used to be about me (or the woman I was seeing–but mostly me), but now I’m about the boys.
It is important to figure out what matters most. The kids matter most, then myself, and then the job. This sounds like a small revelation, but it is a change over a decade in the making. I spent the entire summer working on the relationship with my boys and forging a deeper bond. Now I’m moving towards a deeper spiritual understanding of myself and my needs. Its good to grow.
Some Thoughts:
- When you are at odds with the forces in your life the conflict that creates can push you further away from personal fulfillment. The trick is to find yourself in everyday moments and daily routines.
- In speaking to parents daily I realize how few of them let their kids play the games my kids do or even allow the amount of TV that I do. This, I believe, boils down to personal choice. While the effects of TV and gaming can be highly detrimental to childhood development, these effects can also be tempered by hands on parenting. Part of recognizing and committing to being a Dad first is realizing the importance of my role in their understanding of the world around them.
- Billions of people worldwide attend church. Millions of Americans are members of one congregation or another or simply attend casually on Sundays. This in no way means that these people are connected to their spirituality. I’ve been learning the difference between faith, scripting, and having a real spiritual connection to the world outside of yourself.
- Skinny is all too often mistaken for sexy. TV needs to figure that crap out.
- As much as I love the Luc Besson’s work, the premise of Lucy is pure crap. Nevertheless, I’m going.