Dear Nintendo,
I might hate you. I definitely want to break up with you. For the better part of three decades I’ve put up with a lot of subpar service from you–so long so that I can understand why you expect me to shut and take it now. I’m done being the victim. I was an original. I scratched and blew on your cruddy games hoping they would magically start to work. I bought all the consoles you put out. Yes, even the Gamecube and the Wii U. Now you’ve gone too far. When my eldest son’s ads stopped working I scoured the web for solutions. Finally I bent over and allowed the repair costs to roll in. $146 dollars for a device I bought for $125. Come on, man. Still, he loves his 3ds life. I forked over the fee and started packing up his old 3ds. I even decided to be super dad for a day and bought another one so his baby brother could finally have one. Yay for me, right?
Not so fast.
As I was packing up the first overpriced DS, my middle kid came running over to show me the problems he was having with his 3ds–a 3ds he bought with his own money. Guess what? It was broken in the same unresolved manner that the other one was. That web search I ran for days about the first error revealed thousands of these cases and you, Nintendo, haven’t taken the time to even throw up a useful troubleshooting page about the situation. All you are willing to say is, ‘We’ll fix it if you have your receipt’. Luck be thanked that the kid does have his receipt. So now I’m preparing a second package to be shipped out via UPS. I shouldn’t have been asked to send anything. I should have never encountered these problems, because this is the type of stuff you fix in beta.
So now i’m done. This is the last level of Nintendo platforms we will ever own. Pokemon be damned. Sooner or later the publishers are going to catch on to the fact that your products are pretty garbage rushed out to the public in an effort to keep your shrinking market share afloat. Japan is known for its hundred year plan, and you are clearly not included in the next hundred years.
So, thanks for the oft disappointing memories and stuttering gameplay. Thanks for designing systems that fail as regularly as inner city high school students. Thanks for making my days long and very angry.
Sincerely,
One torked off Talislegger