At least I can say I finally hit rock bottom.
I thought I was there a few times before. There was the time my wife stuck a pencil in my flab and it didn’t fall out. That was bad. It triggered at least a week of good exercise. Then there was that moment my kids all called me fat. We can’t ever forget about the slew of outfit choices I can no longer wear. The thing is, I saw it getting worse. I was waiting, I think, for the moment my kids saw some lady in a bathing suit and reminded me that my boobs are bigger than hers. Its almost come to that a few times now, but that isn’t what made me hit bottom. No, bottom was worse than that.
It all started in the parking lot of a Sam’s Club. I was wearing black shoes with white sox and shorts that caught between the thigh more than they didn’t and a star trek shirt that’s seen too many miles to boldly go anywhere out of doors anymore. It was hot and I was sweating and feeling vaguely faint. As I strode towards the store I noticed a few people noticing me. To that point I’d never identified with the People of Walmart crowd, but as I continued inside that feeling settled over me. Fortunately nobody was flashing a cellphone cam my way.
The other day a friend called bullshit on the spreadsheet blog. She quipped that some of that is the men giving up and not being appealing anymore to their women. I’m extremely hopeful she wasn’t chucking javelins at me with the retort, but part of what she said sunk deep into my subconscious where it took root and waited for the right moment. That moment emerged during the Sam’s Club trip. It worsened when I stopped by Kohl’s to see if I could find a shirt that fit. You know things are bad when XXL feels too tight and leaves the definite impression of male pregnancy.
So, yeah. Bottom.
Saying it is one thing. Buying a bunch of stuff to ‘change my diet’ is one thing, but nothing really adds up until I get real intentional about my health. I haven’t been feeling good and that is in direct proportion to the weight going up. I know what is wrong with me. Now will I do something about it?