What is it we are really here for? Not on earth—not as a race. I mean as the children of our parents. Today walking through the shoe aisles picking out cleats I was struck by how much influence I truly have over my kids. While I am certain that influence will turn decidedly negative in less than a decade, for the moment they seem to do and like the things they presume I expect of them. My eldest two are playing tackle football together for perhaps the only time they will do so in their lives. In the spring they’ll play soccer together and I know that is purely for them, but this I suspect has more to do with me than anything else. I don’t think it is the only thing in their lives that is that way either.
For the longest time all I wanted to do was prove myself to my mother. Mission failed again and again, but I kept plugging away, trying desperately to make something out of the things she thought were important in life. I got the grades, excelled in mathematics, got the college scholarship, signed up to be an engineer, took the fireman’s exam (she changed her mind a lot) and sought out all manner of success purely to make sure that when she talked about me it wouldn’t be one of those, ‘Oh that’s YOUR kid?!’ situations. I didn’t want to embarrass her. I wanted her to feel pride when she thought or spoke of me. I fear my kids are the same way with me.
My kids are way into video games and sports, which are the two basic food groups of my early existence. Add in pop tarts (which they also dig, but all kids do so that’s not on me) and you have the makings of my clone existence. They came to know these things because of me. My ex is fond of saying, ‘you made em that way’ to which I reply, ‘no secret there’ because she’s right 100%. She isn’t about the games. She’s more about the learning and the outdoors. They like that stuff too; I can see evidence of her in all three of them. Still, the video games and the sports are the dominant programming. Does that mean they don’t like that stuff on their own? I’m not sure.
After this season I am not going to bring up playing tackle football or any other sport. I will merely show them the options available to them for activities or just ask, ‘you guys want to do anything this season or are you ready to chill?’ The answer could be surprising but it is necessary. I don’t need them to try to do what they think I want. I need them to be happy in their own respect. That means learning things outside of the talis-verse. The best thing a parent can do is expose their kids to everything that’s possible.