So I’m about to turn a corner. Or die trying. I’ve been experiencing a several odd physical symptoms that relate to one body issue or the other and all pointing towards the inexorable fact that I am actually getting old.
And Fat.
All of these things are not good. Weight is fine so long as it is a healthy and comfortable weight for your body, which mine clearly is not and is likely contributing to my condition, whatever that may be. I’m not sure what it is, but I can be fairly certain of how we got here. I don’t take good care of myself physically or mentally. For a while I didn’t even challenge myself to be or do better. At this point I am challenging myself and it isn’t entirely for me. I don’t know that I set a great role model for my three boys (dem franchise boys) but I do know that they absorb my actions and behaviors like sponges. They react to and often repeat all that I say and do, so it is important that what I say and do is positive. Not all the time, of course. Children need balance as much as they need hope. Me? I need to capitalize on opportunity.
That’s the thing. It is still there, a fading shadow in the doorway. It is entirely up to me to capitalize on such things and to make myself more healthy and be around for the people I love. I come from a family where there weren’t any men. My stepdad died when I was twelve, which is about the age my eldest son already is. That kind of stuff scares me and forces me to question my health and my choices. As they say in London is Falling, “bourbon and bad choices”
I’m not much for the bourbon.
Some Thoughts:
- Apparently it is impossible to locate this iteration of the blog on Google. Any suggestions?
- Sometimes I use these thoughts as a rambling start to the blog vs. doing them at the end when I have a few minutes (or mere seconds) to kill.
- This is one of those times.