I’ve talked about Twilight in class and to friends and on the web and basically anywhere I could preach. I’ve said the stories are classic examples of bad writing–purple prose wrapping an unbelievable conflict and useless protagonist like gift paper. I read through a good deal of the first book in order to form this opinion and knew that I would never ever see the movies.
Never say never.
I struck an accord with my lady that involved Zac Effron and what I know is going to be a terrible film. For my part I had to watch Twilight. I really tried. I watch some awful cinema on a regular basis. I saw all three Sharknados and will gladly sit through a fourth. Twilight is not even close to their level.
Here is the key difference. Sharknado knows what it is. Sharknado plays upon the campy nature of the film to create some built in expectations it can later riff off of. Twilight thinks of itself as a serious teen romance flick–with glowing freaking vampires. Moreover, these things are not vamps. Instead they are the twisted imaginings of someone who knows the general (religiously watered down) idea of vampires and decided to build on that in a way that makes them unrecognizable. This is not Justin Cronin’s Vampire nor is it even Count freakin Chockula. No, this is a poorly constructed representation of a false perception built on a bed of lies and misdirection. Twilight is crap.