I’m not gonna die here.
In The Martian the protagonist, Mark Watney, makes a declaration of life in spite of conditions that all but guarantee death. He decides that fighting is a hell of a lot better than quitting. This, dear reader, is the stuff of motivation. I mean the stuff it is made of–the innards and chemical composition. The character comes upon a moment where he should be giving up and laying down to die and doesn’t. It doesn’t make a difference that this is a fictional sci-fi moment, because it is indeed a moment every one of us faces at some point in our lives. I have never met a person who is without struggle. I have never met another human who hasn’t had to fight for or through something. When I was growing up in NYC I even witnessed the great megalomaniac Donald Trump fight through some horrible business decisions and a very public bankruptcy. All of it points back to the Watney moment–that moment where you say ‘I’m not gonna quit.’
I was reading about the many facets of motivation recently, and though I probably blogged (at least meant to) about some of this last night, I recognized some of the motivational blocks that manifested in my own life. Some of these blocks can be as a result of social rejection or poor physical habits. The social blocks were very evident. I went through a none-too-pretty divorce and lost all the people I called family and watched the majority of people I call friends pull away–especially in the work place. This wasn’t an obvious rejection but more of a subtle shift in my position and standing in the organization. It sucked and hurt and allowed me to recognize some deeper betrayals and manipulations that I probably will never directly confront (because what the heck is the point? Still gotta eat, right?). The fact is I wanted to walk away from these people and situation. I wanted to quit. Some days I still do. Start fresh and focus on the teaching. However, I’m not gonna quit.
All of this bleeds into the daily life and overlaps into other areas of my functional life–parenting, writing, etc. This is only one of several dozen major obstacles life throws at me all the time without having time to really process any of them.
But I’m not gonna quit. I’m not gonna die here at this moment in my life when the possibilities are so powerful. Great things require great action and sacrifice, so game on.