A few weeks ago I fixed my shower.
In the greater scheme of things this is not a big deal; the expected chores of masculinity. However, in my life it represented a tectonic shift back towards an understanding that I can in fact handle my business. My pride took a hit a few years back at the hands of a rough divorce and resultant financial downfall. Several other social situations conspired to feed into my near depressive state and drive my self confidence to record lows. It was noticeable. The teaching suffered. The writing dried up. The home life went to crap. The love life wobbled on the brink of oblivion, curling back and forth over the edge like a drunk ballerina.
I didn’t have any real wins. Then I fixed the shower. Like I said, not momentous, but for me it was a moment of revelation. I realized that if I worked hard enough I could actually achieve all that stuff I spent time acting like I could easily accomplish. Turns out its real, mostly. I can achieve whatever I set my heart to (within reason) but it takes a lot of hard work that I don’t always want to do. It is also a lot more than the typical writerly Butt-in-Chair philosophy. It takes the mindset and mental peace to use that time effectively. I’m learning.
Some Thoughts:
- Got the kids to school in time to play in the yard before class. Also not a big deal, but it means we are back on track here at the TalisHouse. Maybe that means these blogs start tipping back up towards 500 words?
- And then I noticed it wasn’t Tuesday but Wednesday… so that happened.