I really should be asleep. If not for that 3 PM nap with a seven year old curled up against my back I probably would be. I earned the fatigue by spending a good amount of time working on my novel and a bit more time sifting through a backlog of grading. It feels like I am always behind on grading, which is probably because I am. I have 140+ students and give them a ton of work. Heck, I’m upset with myself for not providing enough work. I’m more upset with myself for not figuring out a streamlined way to grade it.
I’m smarter than that.
I am also going into the midway point of a long youth tackle season with three teams worth of games to attend. It isn’t easy. I actively lobbied to get my youngest moved up to the mid-kid’s team in order to allow me to see more games (and have more time to breathe). No such luck. He is where he ought to be, and even though he isn’t happy with his situation all of the time, he is learning and growing from the experience.
By situation I mean losing season. They have not won a single game and it shows. It hurts. It is a pride-scarring thing for a kid who has only lost maybe 5 games in 3 years of playing year round sports. Losing is foreign but also necessary. I am just not a fan of doing it quite so much. The eldest is in the same boat. His team isn’t winning, but I’ve already told that tale in this pages. He is still ridiculously happy and loving life and sport and all things goofy. I hope he stays this carefree and engaged for a very long time. I hope they all do.
What I want is many more years of Taco Tuesday and kids who want to be around and hang out and watch shows and talk and play. I want to have a relationship with my kids now and later when they become men. I want to remain a part of their lives and I want them to remain a part of mine. Big asks, but I’m willing to put in the work to see it through.
Some Thoughts:
- Had a solid family night with all six of the kiddos. I needed it. I need more of it in order to really get a sense of things moving forward.