I am always searching for something.
I went to Vegas looking for an escape from the everyday and a chance to slip into my writing skin and be that learner and that writer. Vegas is not the place to do that, mind you, but you work with the opportunities you are given. I didn’t find what I was looking for in Vegas, but I think I grew a lot through critical dialogue and great times with friends. The truth is we can’t escape from the lives we chose. We devote ourselves to those lives and those loved ones and we make a commitment to change a part of ourselves to meet their needs. Only by understanding and accepting that can we move forward with blending our desires with our reality. Writing is my first love, but I have a family I love as well. I can’t very well push out all thoughts of them for weeks at a time in order to focus on the literary any more than I can go more than a day or two without thinking about writing.
I am married to both and it is my relationship with both that shapes the words that eat away at the white spaces on my screen. I used to wonder at the changes Eddie Murphy went through once he had kids. He didn’t seem to be as funny anymore. His life experiences were different from the man he was when he did Delirious ad Raw. The new Eddie was foreign to me, but now I am starting to recognize his change as maturity.