I don’t know that I cold be happy in life without someone being attracted to me. Perhaps it is a flaw I picked up in my younger days when I hung out with guys infinitely more attractive than me in the eyes of every woman we crossed paths with. I remained the less attractive friend in a small clique of men who drew a great deal of attention. This continued on through college where prestige colored attraction as one does a coloring book. Outside the lines wealth merged with station to shove me violently down the wrung of beauty only to meet women who bartered more in substance than the other measure.
In time I came to appreciate my looks and my relative position and common sense won out. I would rather have a woman love my mind than my abs. Though I always appreciated when a lady realized I was not the forgotten spawn of Frankenstein’s monster.
I am not ugly. I’m not that confident in my physical form either, but I am constantly surrounding myself with those who are confident and have ample cause to be so. The men and women who I associated with tended to look as though they were taking a break from posing for magazine covers and during these breaks they’d cling, clan-like, to each other and I would hang on for dear life.
This ties in to my over sexualization of women. In a way, the more attractive a woman is, the more her opinion of my sexuality carries weight. This can be a boost or a terrible boon. I lauded beautiful women and their opinions for this very reason. For this self same reason I am extremely grateful that the one woman who actually matters–the most meaningful woman in the multiverse–loves me for both looks and mind.
Beauty is relative.
What one thinks of another’s physical (and even mental) form is based on upbringing, ideas of success, and a half dozen other less quantifiable categories. My love happens to be beauty incarnate, and therefore the most beautiful woman thinks I’m not half bad. Imagine the weight that carries. So, life is good because someone does find me attractive.
And that one is all that matters.