This week I’ve had the chance to experience multiple coaches and coaching styles as my kids (in their freaking off season!) continue to move through multiple sports. I keep coming back to one key observation: All coaches are invested in the job for the sake of ego, but many are over-invested to the point where they can lose sight of the families being coached and in some cases the kids being coached. I watched a basketball coach ignore the fact that he is in way over his head and instead slowly destroy a basketball program and the kids in it, because he is unwilling to step aside and let someone more skilled take the reigns. This is ego. It is ego to place the blame on the kids and overlook the errors you are committing.
I see this in a number of coaching situations, but when it comes to youth sports, I worry a great deal about a team who’s coach is the parent of a star athlete on that team. When that happens it stops being about the team and more about the kid and often the coach. I’ve watched this time and again and even been guilty of it myself many times.
Here is what I realized: 1. The head coach is the only one taking home the major trophy. 2. I don’t want to be head coach because I don’t want to become more about the win then the learning or planning. 3. I like planning and scheming and the chess aspect of most sports more than any other part of said sport. This is ego talking. This is me saying, I contributed by putting kids in the best position to succeed whereas without me that might not have happened. 4. I’m happiest in sports when I know the kids are enjoying the game and want to return.
I’m switching teams this year, letting my mid kid stay with his squad while I coach another team in the same league and division that has my youngest kid. The fact that my kids are on opposing teams is stupid, but it all goes back to the coaching. It is another example of not identifying the family situation or simply not caring about it. Nonetheless, I am dealing with it by coaching the little guy and making sure there is some balance.
Some Thoughts:
- When did Marky Mark Wahlberg, a guy who grew up beating up kids because they weren’t white, become the prototypical American hero? Deepwater Horizon, Patriots Day, etc. The dude becomes our view of the American hero on screen and we forget who he is off screen. He’s not only that guy, but the guy Entourage was patterned on. I kid you not.
- Begin Again is a dope movie. Again, I kid you not.
- Started putting together a solid work schedule and scheduling book which includes a ton of butt in chair time for writing. Time to stop being lazy. It can be really hard to get back into the flow of things after a long break.