Any faithful reader of this blog knows I’ve been struggling. It will come as no surprise then that the struggle continues. I blame Maslow. Not the man, but the hierarchy of needs the man put out there. The pyramid below explains:
So, as with any structure, humans are built upon strong foundations. The basics of humanity are the physiological areas. I got that handled. Mostly. Safety is more of a concern. The plan is to move in roughly two months and I have yet to find a place to live (or way to pay for the move, or pack, or… you get it). That leads directly to #3: Love and Belonging. Now I’ve been in love for quite some time. I wouldn’t say that is handled. Far from it and it brings me to the edges of both sides of the emotional spectrum. Still, love is in the plus column… until I screw it up.
That leaves belonging. I don’t. I haven’t for some time. The majority of my friendships exist with me as the tertiary element. It isn’t ideal. I used to thrive on that because it granted me the freedom to move between groups and not be focused in on one set of friends. It was a bit like juggling. Now all the balls are rolling on the ground and I am left empty handed. I have my love, my writers, and a few good dudes. The work situation is a hot mess of outsiderness and the aforementioned groups have been ignored more than should ever happen. So, yeah, my bad.
With our yellow level in jeopardy the other stuff above hasn’t been truly functional. It is like trying to get to the top of a skyscraper when the elevator is out and you have asthma.
I’m still climbing.