2.85

I still have those days where I wonder why I do what I do.

Yesterday was such a day. I spent the majority of my time dealing with one situation after another and generally letting reality worm its way under my skin. I did not ever get angry. It was not that kind of day. I did get tired–dragged down by all that is too real and too terribly wrong.

My favorite kid on the fb team was suspended from school and thus cannot play in our opening tilt. This is a serious problem because he is key to the offensive and defensive engines. He’s one of those kids who doesn’t have a backup.

There’s more. I could talk about the way my ex got my kids all riled up over something that is out of their and my control. I could talk about the students who screwed up so badly that it set back my opinion of how much my class can achieve this semester. I could talk about my failure to properly prepare for a series of class activities for my collaborative class that is going to force me to scramble today to get things done.

In the end it all comes down to mindset. I’ve been so overextended by the football stuff that it leaves me less prepared for the other stuff in my life–the stuff that is usually handled first. Because football looks like such a hot mess, I am trying to hold that together at the cost of other things. What it all boils down to is losing that balance that allowed me to enjoy so much of what I do.

Now it all feels like a job I don’t want or need.

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