I woke up in a daze. I was cold and tired and wanted to do precious little beyond a perfunctory tapping of the screen on a phone video game. I lay there for nearly three hours before I crawled free of my warm hovel and set foot to earth. This is not like me. Generally speaking I don’t stay in bed in the early morning. Call. Coffee. Write. I only managed the first part and that after a considerable amount of time locked into the fetal position. Yet here is the rub: I’m not sick. Not that I can tell.
I’m not depressed either. I’m far from a happy, healthy existence, but I’m in last and survive mode, which ought to be able to sustain me until the end of the semester. Yet here I was in the bed–in 2 yr old mode–at 5 in the morning. There are a number of causes that contribute to such things. In my case I think the world just got a good shot in. I didn’t even see it coming. I think I spend so much time covering up and trying to avoid taking shots that eventually the world being, well, the world, landed a solid blow and it knocked me on my ass–right into a cold empty bed.
I’m awake and moving around now. I’ve recovered largely from the wear of the world and I am slowly shaking off the after effects of the blow. In other words, I’m back to it again–working hard and trying to be the best version of myself. Today’s inspiration?
“Put your heart, mind, and soul into even your smallest acts. This is the secret of success.”
– Swami Sivananda
Some Thoughts:
- Love is the most amazing gift and the most dangerous.