I’m looking inward this sunday as the Redskins face off against the Cowboys, because I am reserving tomorrow’s post for thoughts on the new year. I’m taking ten to reflect on the old year, on 360 plus consecutive posts, on learning how to live within my means, and learning how I really want to live. On tasting mortality, on enjoying family, on friends and neighbors, on understanding why sport is so important to me. On writing. On deadlines. On opportunities missed and discovered. On Shadowrun Returns. On Shadowrun 5, and on and on and on.
I’m starting with a comparison to Rex Ryan.
Sometimes in life we believe we’re doing the right thing and we tie ourselves to that belief and the idea of who we are so completely that we cannot recognize what the world sees us as or even how we ourselves have become degraded. Rex was caught up in the Sanchize. I got caught up in a lot of different things. For one, I spent the last few years really letting myself go, both physically and appearance wise. I shaved less and wore terrible clothing. Worst of all, I was often scripting these terrible outfits two or even three days in advance. Now I’m figuring out where to shop to look at least respectable in the workplace. Perhaps the look will bring an even better work attitude.
Moving along to attitude: I spent a long time building a strong sense of organization and no time developing the overriding discipline needed to be consistent and effective in all aspects of my life. That needs to be the charge for 2013. I have made changes and grown as a person, but I am not remotely close to the man I want to be.
At least I know who he is now.