My ‘just do it’ attitude is turned down to one lately. I walk around in the ‘can we do it?’ mode, superimposing that not-so-winning ideology on everything happening in my life. The problem is not seeing the obstacles as insurmountable, but the recognition that there are so many obstacles and we are (in many aspects) so far behind the eight ball on most things that it occasionally feels useless to try.
Then it sometimes feels like I am the only one left trying.
I felt this again when picking my son up from freshman football. I didn’t know how he would feel about where he was in the pack of kids, but I did not expect him to feel like he is in the back, as though every other kid is both more athletic and more experienced than he is. It hurt to see him use language like, ‘Maybe I’ll switch positions to one where there aren’t any other kids so then I could play.’ I come from a world where my mother thought Garbage Man was the highest possible achievement for me, so to hear that kind of defeatism out of my kid made me take a long look at where I am and what is happening in my life.
Everyone around me is defeated. Utterly beaten down and broken people define my daily interactions. I need to be the strong and positive one and I have not been. I also need to be around more of those people to feed off of that energy to replenish my own tanks.
Some Thoughts:
- Roseanne was canceled. This time it was as a result of a racist tweet from Barr herself. 140 characters cost her millions. I also suspect that the show will become even more popular amongst those who feel that ‘whiteness’ is under siege. My guess: Someone like the NRA channel will pick up the show.
- Love is stronger than bullshit. Much stronger.
- Platitudes, while largely romantic are also useless. I am starting to understand why and how it is easier to say nothing than to wound or anger by trying to inject cheer. Occasionally people need to be sad for a minute and then get over that shit and get to work. I think I’m about ready to get over that shit and get to work.