I am staying true to my plan three days in. Of course, three days is barely a factor of the 90 it takes to successfully form a habit–for me at least. I am trying hard to find a real sense of balance in my day and my life and also trying to relax, budget, etc. At some point writing needs to become a focal part of that daily structure, but it has not. It ought to very soon.
Writing and grading.
It is extremely hard to sit down and devote real energy to either. Yet both require and deserve so much energy that I have to ask myself why I am not spending more hours on the job. Probably because it is hard and the rewards seem so distant. I’d rather the quick stim of a video game than the slow and patient plodding of an assignment sheet. Even the reward of a completed story–that effervescent high–feels like it takes too long of a journey as compared to the short dirty pique of a video game win.
Part of my journey is really identifying the problems I face in these last years (this second half) of my life. Instant gratification is foremost amongst them.
Some Thoughts:
- Just spent the last 4 hours trying to assemble a mount for a TV. It left me feeling very tired and very very stupid. I still believe in the old adage about preparation. I also believe that next time I am going to make sure I know everything about a project before I take one step.