I am afraid of first drafts.
I’m serious. They terrify me. I used to love them. I used to get everything down on paper (actual paper!) and feel so great about having it all down and having the chance and ability to do that. Now… Now I am paralyzed with fear every time I try to write a draft, because I expect it to need to be perfect the first time around. I don’t know if I am afraid that I won’t have time to write a second one or that I am worried about what people will think about the first draft. My partner asked to be my beta reader, and I fully intend to take her up on it. I don’t actually have one. She should have always been the one. Instead I put the drafts to a group of people who I am wanting to impress. I don’t need to or want to have to need to impress someone with a first draft. I need to be focused on getting it all down and getting it out of my brain so that I can mold it into something fantastic.
Some Thoughts:
- New York cynicism is deeply important to one’s concept of how great one is. I miss the hell out of it.
- I watch a lot of bad movies still.