Life is cycle and routine. I am trying to invest in a routine that is productive vs. destructive and the outcome thus far has been subpar. I’m probably being generous. The truth is I am struggling with the concept of living two lives. In one I am the dad-vehicle moving kids to and from practices and finding time between trips to feed kids, handle homework, and perhaps even take a break of an hour or two to play games to stay sane.
On the other three days of the week I am a quiet family man, present and involved and benefited with a beautiful partnership and kids who do their own thing for the most part, but make time to hang with us parents a bit.
Neither existence is what I want or what makes me happy entirely. I think I am looking for a compromise or balance between the two. I am looking for help on the one side and more time to do the things I love on the other. In both areas I am looking for a comfortable space/time to write. In essence I don’t write on the hectic life days save for the Friday Write Day and 10 minutes a day of this stuff. It is not ideal.
Solutions? Nothing yet. I’ve been dealing with it for a while and searching for that elusive and oft destructive acceptance. In some cases acceptance is wonderful, but in this case it encourages me to engage in a lifestyle that is not sustainable. I need to find one that is.
Some Thoughts:
- I am worried about my diet. I’m out of ketosis and I noticed that I am back up to 220 after hitting 218. That low my reflect a natural plateau, which means I need to do more than negative caloric intake to go down further. That more is clearly exercise, and I have not made time in my life for such a practice.