Video Games are meant to be a distraction from the day to day grind. They are meant to lift us up and afford us a temporary glimpse at success. It is a precarious balance. If a game is too hard –if the entry curve is too steep–then it affords little chance of early victory. If the opposite occurs than winning means nothing. Riding that wave means winning and losing just enough to stay interested. If you ride the wave long enough it becomes a habit and maybe even an addiction. It sucks at your time until you don’t go a day or even a few hours without playing.
I’ve been there so many times that I can firmly say that gaming is my addiction. My latest fix is Clash Royale. Today I deleted the game from my phone. I hid it for a while, but my kids play, so I played. I played all the time. I played during commercials and while kids watched videos in class and during the slow moments of shows. I played all the time. I was decent at it but never actually good. I spent a little cash on the game in the beginning, but the grind is what got me where I was and where I was didn’t actually mean anything. See, the game works on trophies. Most recently I was at 4200. I dropped nearly 400 trophies in a 24 hour span and straight up quit. I deleted it, because I actually started to feel like I could not win. No matter what I did I could not win. I felt entirely powerless and addicted to trying to gain power through this useless game that, in the end, means nothing.
So, I turned on another game.
So, I started losing in that game too. I didn’t fall into anger this time. Instead I put the game down and picked up this blog. You see, gaming replaced writing to a certain extent. Once upon a time those moments were filled with words and story. I would build worlds instead of fall into multiplayer realms someone else created. Game was balanced with what I really love, which is the words and the words. I didn’t realize that until I got so angry about this particular game. I lost my sense of balance. Now I have to find a way to stand up.