This is one of those, ‘quit the blog’ days where it really helps to reflect on why I am doing this as well as how I am doing this. The why is easy: I am cultivating a lifestyle where writing happens, in some form, every day. Some days (more than not lately) this is all that I get down on paper that isn’t grading or classroom design. It helps to know that this is going to happen regardless. Of course this evening it means sacrificing moments with loved ones and the resulting need to rediscover those connections that may have been bent or injured by the timing, like jamming a monitor cord into the wrong receiver. Things sometimes can never get straightened out. They always carry the scar of the action, be it in the discoloration or fragility of metal too often bent.
How I am doing it is the problem. I have been, for some weeks now, behind schedule. I have been playing a losing game of catch up and as the semester nears it appears that I will not be able to get right before it begins. The how is, I dare say, a mess.
I mentioned earlier that the semester start is a great opportunity to get a schedule going. Sadly, I feel a great sense of certainty that no one–not even myself–believes it will happen. I do not wish to be so negative about myself–especially in the midsts of a ‘quit the blog’ day, but the truth that comes out of this blog is important. It matters that I am real about where I am at, because there is no way to move forward on ground paved with lies and self delusion.
Wow, that was heavy trade for a dude talking about just trying to get crap done.
Some Thoughts:
- I am grateful for the life I live.
- I am grateful for the job I have earned.
- I am aware that I have earned where I am at in life. That is a change from just feeling like a lucky dude. Luck is the collision of opportunity and preparedness. I’ve been lucky a lot.
- Not always though. Lately… not so prepared.