So, here we are at the end of a busy week in which I stumbled through some pretty good classes and a few bad ones. I learned something about myself this week: I am deeply opposed to the high school mentality. I can step back and appreciate that mindset. I can see how students, fresh from Senior Year, carry themselves with a bravado and disinterest that promises they’ll get little out of the first year of college. I see it and I can respect it if removed. However, in the classroom that kind of stuff flat out pisses me off and I have trouble not speaking out agains their wasted years.
I was that kid. I hope I wasn’t as much of a jerk as that kid. At least in that first year I had football to offer me some sense of mooring and responsibility. Well, considering that I failed horribly at it I should note that the responsibility overwhelmed me and forced me into a panic about what my life was actually supposed to be.
These kids are not really up against the wall like I was. Many have triple-tiered safety nets, and when they fail they fail up. Perhaps that is what bugs me. These kids that do bug me have so much more than I had when I was their age and they are so much more willing to take it all for granted.
I do not want to be the dad who cultivates that sort of kid, and perhaps that is the other part of my anger. It feels like I can’t help but to cultivate at least one such child and that is one too many.
Some Thoughts:
- I’m pretty excited about the weekend slate of games. Being honest with myself I am most hyped about the 10u game, because it represents a fundamental challenge to my concept of reality. Other coaches are telling me the team we are up against is the hardest challenge and we may or may not have a chance to win. We are being looked at as equal or lesser than that team and that team’s scheme. This is far from what I perceive as reality. The way I see things this particular team is trash and really not that talented or clever in scheme. Should they win, I am living in a lie.
- A lot to put on a Youth Football game to be sure. Too much.
- The heart is less than great and I am considering medication, but I don’t want to be on meds for the rest of my known existence.