When I studied sociology I often looked at the world through a clinical lens–the so-called 30,000 foot view. I didn’t often apply it to the lives around me and less so to the life I live. Lately I’ve been thinking more and more about how our lives are shaped and how that impacts future generations. That thought process hits particularly close to home for me.
In my reality college was never a choice. It was drilled into me from the point where I could think that college was inevitable and the choice I had to make was which college to go to. My schooling reinforced this philosophy. I had to test in to my high school. There were 3 such schools and the top 2 were very close and entirely different to the point where had I gone to Stuyvesant over Bronx Science I would be living an entirely different life right now. I suspect there is a reality somewhere where I did, and I would love to see it. I’d love to meet the other me(s). Success was charted in athleticism on a personal note, but publicly everyone around me wanted to know what school I’d get into and what college would eventually shape my future. Oddly, there was not a lot of talk past that.
I am part of a larger reality now where college is optional for people and there are other ways to dwell in the high school life–even not going to school at all–but that has not changed how I raise and teach my own boys. Not one feels like college is an option. It is merely inevitable. I am glad they feel that way, because in my opinion, that is how it should be for them. They’ve been raised and trained to prepare themselves for college both mentally and athletically. What I’ve done is carve a path in the detritus of this world towards that doorway to success. What happens beyond the threshold is their responsibility.