At some point the wheels completely fell off. I’ve been puttering along, trying to maintain a semblance of order without resorting to lists. As I continued on I recognized, and ignored, a murder of tasks that just were not being handled. Now I find myself at that point of overwhelmedness where I recognize that all those little things in small but necessary areas of my life have piled up once again to the point of sadness and distraction. I blame Minecraft. I blame Clash Royale too. The moment the craft world fell apart via glitch I was able to reallocate those attention resources to other things. Given that I’ve stopped Clash as well, I found myself with an abundance of attention resources that wandered into the dangerous territory of ‘what really needs to get handled?”
As I quickly discovered, a lot needs to get handled and I don’t really want to have to deal with any of it. Now I am suffering a fatal error in my memory stack. I am caught between all of these responsibilities that fell into the active queue and a lack of creative energy. This is a toxic combination. Suddenly I am in worker bee mode six days out from a major creative deadline. Honestly, I haven’t a clue how to deal with the slog except to deal with the slog.
I need to open up the notebook, reattach the stickies to the board, and get down to the business of handling my business. It isn’t fun or sexy, but neither am I when my mind (and thus body) falls prey to the slog. I am clearly not built for the slog and it takes a heavy toll on my personage. I’ll make it through the next two days of slog and perhaps by wednesday be open to the creative arts. Also, I can rely on the fact that I have a partner who loves me and makes me feel like I can handle things. That helps a lot.
Anyhow, checklists begin again.