There can be no greater metaphorical collision between the life I am living and the life I intend to live than the reality that my partner’s plane touches down at the same time I am scheduled to coach a playoff game. As I cannot be in both places at once I also cannot continue to live both lives at once. It is unmanageable and degrading and detrimental to everyone in the situation. No one grows. No one moves forward. My thought was: I’ll just have my kid(s) stop playing sports and living the lives they are pursuing. However, that doesn’t help anyone either. Their mother doesn’t go to all of their games. She steps away based on her life and the things she wants to do. She makes a choice instead of settling for no choice at all.
So I need to make a choice and discover a way to move forward and let them move forward under their own power. I spend so much mental energy focused on their sports–much more than on their lives in general. It is long past time to scale back and put in the work where I can and see through that choice. It will be difficult. I enjoy the sports a lot, but the choice is the right one–Just like choosing to NOT have the kid play youth football in the Spring was a hard but correct choice.
I need to start making better and more fruitful choices for who I am and who I intend to be moving forward.