There are expectations of youth that are often overlooked by those who’ve had good relationships with their offspring. I forgot that kids are designed to be rebellious and do what they want in the face of, well, reality. Mine wants to transfer to a private christian school that costs 16K a year. I don’t have the money and he is not a christian. Why then does he want to do it? The opportunity to be a big fish in a little pond? He’d be moving from 6a to 3a, and limiting greatly his options for being seen as a college-level talent. He doesn’t want to hear that though. He wants to hear that he can do what he wants and what he thinks is best.
It isn’t and he can’t. There will be a battle. It is largely my fault for letting him meet with the coach and hearing about the requirements of the school, which he believes he can fake his way through (this includes attending church regularly and learning scripture) even though he doesn’t have the personality or belief system to back any of it up. So, I try to breathe and move past, letting him fume in the corner about ‘missed opportunities’.
I’ve made mistakes with some of my kids. I’ve allowed disrespect, I’ve let them get away with a lot. I’ve done many things wrong as a parent–so much so that I fear my behavior nearly (and still may) cost me my relationship. Still I am trying to do right by these kids and this family. At the same time, I am trying to live my own life and thrive and the two never seem to want to work in conjunction.
So… breathe. With the youngest turning 13, there isn’t a lot of time left.