The best way to get through a thing is to get through it. You put one foot forward and then the next and you keep moving. I’m trying to do that today. I am trying to see what I can get done and how productive and impactful I can be as a human, because I’ve been a mess for a while now. It used to be that I was a grindGod. Once upon a time I dropped 20+ clean pages a day. Now I struggle to grade a basic assignment and haven’t updated some classes significantly at all. This is a fierce counterpoint to who I was, and further evidence of my long dark spiral. So, as I say always forward, I’ve been moonwalking for quite some time. I need to get it in gear.
There are obstacles. I’m not in the best headspace. The personal life is a hot mess. The kids are a hot mess. I’m a video game addict (without a doubt), the finances are a mess (lukewarm and getting hotter). Everything feels like a wreck and everyone around me feels like that ‘This is Fine Meme”
Doing something about that is paramount, but I cannot figure out a good move here. What I am doing is trying to do everything I can do within my own power. That means write the new project. Outline the novel. Prep the classes. Examine options for making more money. Hunt for outside work–either writing or teaching. All of it adds up to action and action ought to keep me from falling deeper into darkness.