I decided to go back to how version seven started. As with most things in my life it was both without great fanfare and related to sports. The post, 7.1, fell on a waiver Wednesday and I talked about the Giants and about new beginnings, only casually discussing this as a new beginning and why. I’ve delved in deeper since but it is a thing that I believe I do: I say things, let that simmer, then something happens. It is my way but. It always the best way to be meaningful and impactful in the practice of living.
The more I realize how much I have lived the more I feel like the time remaining in this life has value and meaning. I want to do good for myself and others. I want to leave a mark. I want to not be afraid to go when that last call arrives. I am not in the place I want to be. I live my life off balance; always fearful of the home situation erupting into something there is no coming back from or controlling. I live on pins and needles and that makes it hard to think about or do anything positive. Knowing this helps me understand how and when I thrive and how and when I fail.
seven was about starting over but I merely kept going down the same dim path.