Still at a bit of a loss for words. I need to find them soon, less the meager writing talent dry up and blow away. I’m on the verge of starting movie reviews under the perspective screen name of B-Reel. It has a hop hop feel to it and is clever to boot–or corny. I’ll keep thinking about that one. Anything to keep me from thinking about this grief stuff. When I lost my father it took me a good year to actually accept the fact that he hadn’t simply gotten on a bus and rode away. I kept looking for him on busses but never found him. I’m certain now that he is gone, but that understanding was a long time in the making.
I’ll probably end up doing what I do best–throw money at the problem. The office isn’t finished and the kids room needs curtains. I can handle that; keep my arms moving with the labors of love as I prepare to step slowly into that pool of work waiting for me. I’m sure there is even a high degree of organizing I could be doing. There is all sorts of stuff I can fall back on to get my head and emotions back to centre.
I just need to figure out how to move towards one of them.