Author: admin

The beer in the deep was the best I'd had since St. Louis. It was colder than it should be, considering the limited level of electrics in this place. The lights, the running water, all of it was powered by means I didn't yet understand or even comprehend. I had to keep my mind focused on what was in front of me. In this case it was a young man with strangely tinted blue skin and features that looked near alien. He was drinking a beer and looking around the surprisingly large cavern with an expression that wavered between wonder and curiosity. He hardly seemed to notice me as he studied the ceilings and looked at the people of the deep. They were all a collection of unusual misfits as well. A few looked, well, normal, but the rest reminded me of the early days of SURGE when Genetic expressions suddenly materialized within people giving them strange mutations. 

"You're a SURGE victim." I said.
He stopped mid sip. He said, "No. The SURGE liberated me. It allowed me to become who I am supposed to be."
"What is that exactly?"
"I'm a human, like you."
"You're awakened?" I suggested, remembering his aversion to the needles and considering who'd hired me.
"No."
"Then you're a liar."
He grinned. "What I am isn't important. What is important is that I'm safe now. Largely thanks to your distraction." 
I nodded, waiting to see if he would say more. When he didn't I said, "My job was to protect you from that situation up there. I did that. I suppose I ought to be on my way then."
"But I'm not safe." He said.
"What do you mean?" I grew tense. I knew this place from the old days, but not well enough and not recently enough that the people here knew me or even trusted me. If he wasn't safe, neither was I.
"The men who wanted to implant that device in me won't stop. They brought me there under false pretense, and once I realized what they were trying to accomplish I ran, but it doesn't mean they won't try again."
"What does it do?"
"Turns me back into who I was."
I didn't ask the obvious question. Instead I said, "So how to we stop them."
Peter Choi said, "You need to get me out of Manhattan."

Some Thoughts:

1. New update is entirely wonky in terms of text formatting. Not sure what to do to fix it just yet. More research required… The font ought not to be that small as a basic starting format. Had to use preformatting… Feels like it impacted all of the previous work as well. Bad update indeed…

I know, I’ve been away from the bloganovella for waaaaaay too long, but hey, it’s Wednesday and I haven’t hit the wire for a long time. Why? because there was no real sports news to discuss but that all changed…

Basketball
The boys have me playing NBA2K, which means I am starting to think about B-ball post NBA finals. The finals were great, but what happens next? In the real world the Lakers have gone old with multiple signings of players over the age of 30. Westbrook, Howard, and now Carmelo? I think they expect to treat the regular season like a chance to develop chemistry and talent among the youngers and let the old school carry over the playoff stretch. That being said, they are legit my favorites in the west. In the East I expect the Knickerbockers to make a little noise following the signing of Kemba Walker. That’s a big one. We needed a PG to run things. This is going to make them contenders and hopefully they can avoid the Hawks in the playoffs this time.

Football (Youth Style)
So, the 12u thing did not go as planned. While there are offers still on the table for the kid to play for another 12u squad, it looks like he will be playing up to 14u. While this may at first feel odd, the truth of it is he is a middle schooler playing MS ball. I don’t expect him to start at RB, but lets hope he finds his way on the field to get some minutes and really up his game. He has potential and this is the biggest challenge he’s faced. As far as defense goes, he’s looking like a CB prospect lately and he could see significant minutes. Only time in pads will tell though.

The NFL
The Giants made a big splash with an average on field brawl. The hit that started it wasn’t particularly vicious, IMHO. Not say, like the hit that cost a (former) Panther’s player his job. He was cut from the team following that practice entirely because of that hit and the message cutting him does send. So, things are happening in terms of safety. Happening too late for the Colts who lost their oft injured QB to a single man injury. Yeah, he just stepped wrong and now he done. Possibly up to 12 weeks. Wentz is straight cursed.

Let’s take it back to round 2 of the blog. 2.216. When my back went out for one of the first times. This was a big one for me. This is when I tasted mortality and the idea of aging in a big bad way. It was a rough one, because as a dad you don’t want to have to be useless around your kids. Yet here I was. Here I was with a partner that was willing to drop everything to make sure I was okay. I owe her more than I can possibly repay. I owe her all the happiness in this world and I will try to repay that.

Some Thoughts:

1. Brief and emotional one tonight…

For the first time I can remember I’ve decided not to work on a Shadowrun project. I don’t feel like I’m in for this one. I will probably feel differently down the road, but I am out on this upcoming book. I’m out of ideas for it. Crazy right? Maybe not so much. I’ve been doing a lot of the SR work and it is about time I stepped back for a few months and didn’t do a book. It would only present another distraction from the novel and I don’t need anything else to distract me from that project or the one that follows. I think this book needed to be zeroed out for me to reset, refresh, and learn what the new writers are trying to create with the world and also to reinvent what I’m trying to create in that same world, because I don’t have a plan. I want to get people more exposure, but no real plan. No real voice character in the sourcebook’s either, so maybe we put that on the list too.

What I am trying to do is find a rhythm and at the same time find a voice in the world outside of the RPGlands. This is largely where the need to be focused on the sci fi and fantasy stories comes from. I need to get back to thinking about these worlds and ideas that exist within me and ways to bring them to the surface. The problem with freelancing is you are writing for and about other people and other people’s stuff. It stifles your own stuff to a certain extent, and after a while you start to forget you have stuff at all…

Well, I stopped spiraling.

All it took was a good night’s sleep. Seriously. That stuff matters. A new day and a new set of goals to process and directives by which I shall continue to move forward in life. In short, it’s a new day, new week!

I started this new week by jumping on the Halo trend. No, not the game. The Amazon device that tracks your fitness. A review of the device will be up in a week, as soon as I unlock some more of the features. So far it has allowed me to see my heart rate over the course of a day and begin learning how to game that and work towards a healthier lifestyle, as I struggle with this greatly.

In the writing world I am getting closer to writing the fantasy epic. At least closer to planning the darn thing. I’ve been wanting to tell a fantasy tale of this scale for most of my life and I am not getting any younger. No more waiting. Now we plan and develop. I am also helping to plan and develop the final Dragonball hunt. This is it. As these kids age up, it is time to bring an end to the hunt. I don’t think we will go out quietly either. More on that on the other site as it develops…

In sum, sometimes you spin off into the darkness flailing and screaming and expecting to float forever. Sometimes you hit a wall or grab a rope and everything is okay. Sometimes you just need a good night of rest to recognize how life has given you so much joy and opportunity. I am grateful for my life and my opportunities and my intelligence and my family. I am a lucky dude and proud of it.

Some Thoughts:

1. Two leagues of Fantasy have already checked in and we are rolling in late August. The 3rd has not…
2. Jelle’s Marble League is pushing out a game.. IF the indiegogo makes it’s money. Funding is at 72% It needs you. The marbles need you. At the very least, click here and learn more!

Gotta be real: as a Pisces I do spiral quickly.

I’m spiraling about the upcoming book release. Spiraling about the football season and situation both high school and youth. I’m legitimately spiraling today and it makes me feel more than a little manic.

mom also writing this on a phone because I didn’t want to walk to the office and get a computer, so that’s a little taste of not being dedicated right there.

I’ve strayed hard from my diet and now I’m in data collection mode. Which of course shouldn’t be connected to the spiral but what if I’ve discovered that my heart is about to fail? What then? Have I lived the life I hoped for?

see: Spiral.

some thoughts:

1. Looks like my 12 yr old may be playing 14u ball this final season and getting on page with the group that will be freshman next year which could open the door to him training with them next spring and onwards and really being ready following his year away to assess his love of the game. Dope.
   
2. made it to ten! I had doubts there… see: Spiral

“Peter Choi.” I say as I approach the man in the dirty and torn recycled hospital gown. He has a blanket over his shoulders and people around him who seem very interested in making sure he feels safe. He looks confused, as if he doesn’t know where he is or how he got to be here. When he sees me he looks startled, the way you would if you saw a ghost or say if a Naga materialized and offered you a job. I haven’t seen any ghosts lately.

I hold up my hands, “Listen, I was hired to make sure those goons up top didn’t put you in a situation you didn’t want to be in.”

He blinks really slowly, the way I imagine a fish might blink. I blink back, though mine feels more like a form of confusion seeping into my consciousness. He is in fact blue. Not blue tinged from lack of oxygen or some form of chameleonware. His skin is blue-hued. His fingers are a lot longer than they ought to be and, I notice with some revulsion, he has more of them than he should.

“You’re clearly not from around here.” I say.

“Who are you?” He says.

“Right. I should’ve led with that. My name is Tojiro Mako. I believe someone very close to you sent me to keep you out of trouble.”

Some Thoughts:

1. Yes, I changed the tense. It feels like its more natural this way, but I actually did it to show the shift to this otherworldly place. I wanted it to feel different in every possible way. Not sure the shift is a thing people ought to do.

Real talk: I’m in that space where I am willing to do anything besides write this story. I’m finding mundane tasks to finish. I’m looking for ways to not write this story, because it is hard and because it matters and because I don’t automatically know where I am going with everything. The struggle is real, and as I’ve reported here before, it is similar to what people like to call writer’s block. I am not doing a very good job addressing the problem though. Instead, I am not doing, well, anything and that is causing things to stack up and placing me in exactly the position I did not want to be in entering the new semester.

So, something has to give. After this blog I expect to get out of the house and run some errands. It is better than sitting here and pretending I am going to write when I am not. Then, I am going to write out a more composed to do list and start posting what needs to get done on a daily basis. I have to get in tune and get on schedule quickly.

Some Thoughts:

1. I do in fact believe it is time to move.
2. How and where that fully transpires is a matter of discussion. I’m game though. I am certainly game.
3. Youth Football blacklists are a thing. They are a thing because of parents and I hate to say it but I feel like I am on one–especially with certain teams. There is a chance my son’s team won’t have enough players and if that happens, there is not another team he can go to this season. So, he’ll be done with youth football. That sucks for him. Sad way to end it, but such is the way things may need to be.

Go down the staircase hidden behind the gate in the alley of the Blakemark building. At the bottom of the steps is a door. It is locked; it is always locked. However the code is as well known and common to the right circle of people as the time of day. I know that code. I learned it working undercover. I know these people. At least I used to.

Past the stairwell door is a long hallway filled with pipes that pump out steam from the buildings above. Watch your step and watch your timing because the steam here can be lethal at the wrong time of day; under the right conditions. At the end of the hall is another set of stairs. This goes down again and further. This goes below the train lines to the forgotten parts of the city older than Dutch Manhattan and older still than the Lenape Indians. Long ago they found the natural entrance to these deeper caves and they wondered at what they saw.

The Deep Below is lit by a moss that glows like dying neon. 1000 meters below the earth I can hear the Hudson River roaring high above me. I can make out the beginnings of DeepTown as the stairs transition from concrete to the original rough cut stone and I make the transition from what is to what was. By the time I reach the bottom, faces are materializing out of the darkness around me. They are ork and Troll–some are subspecies I’ve never seen. Some are human. They are all armed.

“Hoi.” I say, holding my arms up in the air. “Anywhere down here a chummer can get some solid Ramen?”

The one nearest to me is a dwarf whose eyes show age wrinkles beyond my few years. She isn’t smiling. She pats me down quickly, and says, “WHo do you know to be down this far?”

“Old Henry Miles.”

“Henry hasn’t been this deep in a few years.” She says, her eyes fixed on me.

“Last time I saw him was five years ago. We ate over there.” My hand slowly drifts down and forward towards a section of the village I’m familiar with. As I point my eyes focus on someone else I am familiar with but never expected to see down here. I cannot hold back the gasp that comes out of me.

Peter Choi is here. He’s still in his hospital robes. He is sitting outside of a small hut cobbled together from recycled siding and drinking from a can fashioned into a cup.

When I can finally pick my jaw up off the floor I say, “Also, I’m with him.”

Some Thoughts:

1. TWIST! That is what makes stories go crazy. I’m going to have to put one together here soon that makes a sort of sense. This might be the start of it.

I’d thought I’d take a look at 818, Reflections on a Tuesday Night this Tuesday night as the sky roars and the winds threaten to push down what little isn’t already held down in the backyard. I am fine, if not a little hot in the office following a period of humidity I haven’t seen in years. So, it felt right to turn back the years to that Tuesday when I wrote, “There are days when I want to wake up in 1991 and have a chance to do things with the effort and vigor I know I am capable of. You can’t go back. Perhaps the truth is that death is merely an cessation of new material and you live everything over and over again, but life is forward. It is the next moment and the moment after that. I didn’t feel that way earlier in my life, but as I age I recognize this fact and the fact that there isn’t really time to waste.”

This random selection of a blog argues the portent of those words. I’ve held steady to the idea that life may indeed be a loop and I may already be looping. I’ve felt a darkness over me every evening that makes it hard to sleep and even harder to have dreams that don’t descend into a nameless ordinary terror that is all but forgotten when I rise save for the feeling that it was there and my self-soul was not pleased.

For all of this–for all of this ill feeling I am outraged at myself. Life now is better than it has been in some time, and perhaps that is the reason my mind worries itself through the night. It is all too good to be true. It is all happening and things are better than I could’ve guessed. Earlier in that blog I wrote about a novel (no idea which one) but now I’ve finished and sold a different novel. I am on to the next (in spite of the pesky bit of avoidance I’ve acquired these past days). I am happy in love and feeling like I can do all the things I want to in life. I suppose part of me is afraid I don’t deserve it, and the universe has already figured out that I don’t.

We all know what happens at the end of those scenarios…